Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
not ubering you a puppy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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