I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
