I'm going to jail i love you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
