NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
