Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
