She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
