her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
