even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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