she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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