I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize
