the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you didnt know i had herpes?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
