I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
