Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
