i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
