ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
