Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
