I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
