How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
