I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
