I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
