I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
