i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
