I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
