i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
