Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
