I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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