Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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