i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize