and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
