hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he thought i was a dude.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Floor bacon is actually really good
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
