Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I forget how to act sober
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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