I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
