I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
