You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize