S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
