Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
