Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
