Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize