scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
