Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
