No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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