after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
