so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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