A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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