I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
