Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
