Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
