I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
