Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
