i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
