I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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