What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize