smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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