I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize