I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need a burrito and a hug.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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