He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
