I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
As shirtless as possible
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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