So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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