I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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