Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
